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As an executive coach, I often work with leaders who are highly skilled and successful, but need help  developing better  interpersonal relationships in the workplace.  Often they receive feedback about their lack of perceived concern for the people who work for and along side of them. They may lack empathy. And this prompts them or their organization to contact me.  These executives are driven and are highly successful.  They have risen to positions of influence in their organizations, and may be well-known in their industries. But they  may make decisions without regard for the impact that these decisions will have on the people involved, sometimes even their clients.  They are focused on the  work, both quantity and quality, and are skilled in compartmentalizing whatever may be going on with them outside of work.  And they wonder why  others do not do the same,  and allow a crack in their performance or drive at times of increased stress.

These are some of the themes that come through in my work with executives:

1.  The ability to listen and really hear is  critical.   Often people just want to vent and have someone understand their concerns.  This does not necessarily mean that the executive should go into problem solving mode.

2. As a person of influence in your organization, you should allow for differences in people, in how they use themselves to add value and create a work environment that allows for more work satisfaction.  Not everyone is like you.  They may not have the same personality characteristics, their strengths may be different and how they deal with stress may also be different from how you deal with stress.

3.  You become successful by working  with and through others.  That requires you to show that you care about others, while still holding them accountable.

4.  Some people want to know who you are as a person, not just the workhorse robot.  You may not understand why people want to know who you really are, and why that is important for some in the workplace, but that goes back to, not everyone is like you.   It could be that they want to see your humanity.

Many executive coaching clients come to me by referral from their organization, and some are self-referred as they become aware of things that may not be going well for them working with others.  I first do  an extensive interview,  and then administer some assessments to measure personality, leadership and social and emotional intelligence skills, as well as 360 degree feedback.  From there we create a development plan.  The insights and practice of a six month program often provide dramatic results for the executive and the organization.