Since the tech crash of 1999, 9/11 and the more recent great recession, many have looked at their values and how they fit, and in many cases, don’t fit, with the realities of their life . Some talk of finding work-life balance, but many times we find ourselves neglecting certain areas in the push to achieve in another. So the short-term feeling of success that comes from one victory; getting that well earned bonus or finishing a project, lasts only momentarily as new work goals appear on the horizon. And what happens to life balance or success when a parent gives up a job to stay home raise children? How does that person get balance and feel successful when a big area of his/her life evaporates, as it also does with retirees?
In a 2003 article in the Harvard Business Review, authors Nash and Stevenson look at a kaleidoscope approach with four researched components of enduring success: happiness, defined as feelings of pleasure or contentment about your life; achievement, accomplishments that compare favorably with goals of others; significance, the sense that you make a positive impact on people you care for; and legacy, a way to establish your values or accomplishments to help others for future success. What they found in their research is that success in one area has to be limited for the sake of the whole. It means doing just enough to sustain a feeling of some success all areas.
If having a positive impact on family and friends is related to your sense of enduring success, you may need to limit your work activities to those that don’t demand lots of travel, late weekday meetings and weekend retreats. In some careers, the more success that you achieve, the more that is demanded of you. How do you say “no” without limiting success in your achievement area? You probably can’t. But the theory is that you will feel sustained success as a person if your activities contribute to all four areas.
For example, for some clients, at the same they are raising children, they are establishing themselves in their careers. Balancing work with family during this time is challenging, especially if both parents are working. So it can be difficult to have sufficient activities in the four different areas to feel success in all. That is where “switching and linking” come in. As you achieve in your career, you may have the extra income to save for your children’s college educations. In that respect you are contributing to legacy and significance, as you contribute to achievement.
When I did not schedule client meetings on Friday, but left that time flexible, I had time for a life outside of work and chores that fed my soul and enabled me to feel success in the different areas. So my challenge is to go back to that schedule that allows me to have energy and time for other interests. I decline speaking engagements and volunteer work that does not fit with what I need for “good enough” for me. Good enough is feeling satisfied with my life.
You don’t need to set maximum goals in all categories. You just need to feel satisfied.. Remember that we are all different, with different interests, personality and work styles . What works for one may not work for another. Don’t compare yourself with others, but create your own kaleidoscope below; one that leaves you feeling satisfied for enduring success.
Happiness
self
family
work
community
Legacy Achievement
self self
family family
work work
community community
Significance
self
family
work
community
MAR
About the Author:
Deborah Brown (Debbie) founded Atlanta based D&B Consulting, Inc. in 1993 to provide executive career and leadership coaching, and executive career transitions and outplacement services to organizations and individuals. She is a Master Practitioner of the MBTI personality assessment and a Certified Social + Emotional Intelligence Coach® through the Institute of Social + Emotional Intelligence® of Denver, Colorado. Debbie earned the SPHR (Senior Professional in Human Resources) certification.